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Keys to Peak Parental Performance

Article courtesy of Soccer America's Youth Soccer Letter and editor Dan Woog.

Youth soccer clubs are always seeking ways to rein in parental enthusiasm without dampening it. The Stone Mountain (Ga.) Youth Soccer Association recently distributed a clear, concise set of standards addressing that delicate balance:

Let the coaches coach. This includes goal setting and psyching up your child for practice and post game critiques. Having more than one "coach" confuses children.

Do not bribe or offer incentives. Leave motivation to the coach. Offering money for scoring goals, for example, distracts your child from concentrating properly in practices and games.

Support your child unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when your child performs poorly.

Support all players on the team. Your child's teammates are not the enemy. When they are playing better than your child, she has a wonderful opportunity to learn.

Support the program. Get involved by volunteering, helping with fundraisers, car-pooling, or however else you can.

Encourage your child to talk with the coaches. "Taking responsibility" - whether about playing difficulties or missing an upcoming match - is a big part of soccer.

Understand and display appropriate game behavior. When you cheer appropriately, you help your child focus on the parts of the game he can control (positioning, decision-making, skills, etc.). If he begins focusing on elements he can't control (field conditions, the referee, the weather, etc.), he will not play up to his ability.

Monitor your child at home. Be sure she is eating and sleeping properly.

Help your child keep priorities straight. A youngster needs help balancing schoolwork, friendships, and other commitments besides soccer. But having made a commitment to soccer, she also needs help fulfilling her obligation to her team.

Pass the reality test. If your child's team loses but he played his best, help him see this as a "win." Remind him to focus on the process, not the end result. Fun and satisfaction should come from "striving to win." Conversely, do not let him be satisfied with "winning" if it comes from inadequate preparation and performance.

Keep soccer in its proper perspective. The game should not be larger than your life. If your child's performance produces strong emotions in you, suppress them. Keep your own goals and needs separate from your child's. Remember that your relationship with your child will continue long after her competitive soccer days end.

Honoring the Game

Jim Thompson From the "Positive Coaching Alliance"

Sportsmanship seems like an out-of-date concept today when professional athletes and coaches act in ways we would not want our children to imitate. Coaches need to reverse this trend and require the parents assistance to do so.

The concept of "Honoring the Game" represents the behavior we want to model. Honoring the Game is getting to the ROOT of the matter, where ROOT stands for respect for the

Rules,
Opponents,
Officials, and
Tradition of the game.

1) Rules: Coaches and athletes must not try to get away with illegal behavior when officials are not looking. Coaches must teach athletes to respect the rules, even when it is possible to cheat without getting caught. I want our team to play within the spirit of the rules and refrain from "bending" them when it dishonors the game.

2) Opponents: Without opponents, competitive sports make no sense. A worthy opponent calls out the best in us. We must respect opponents and remember they are members of our community. We want to try our hardest to win but not at the expense of demeaning or demonizing our opponents. I intend to show respect for my fellow coaches and teams and teach it to my athletes.

3) Officials: Officials have been selected and trained to enforce rules to keep sports from degenerating into chaos. Officials are not perfect (just like coaches, athletes and parents!) and sometimes make mistakes. However, there is no excuse for treating officials with disrespect when they make errors. I want my players and their parents to show respect for officials even when they disagree with the call.

4) Tradition: The game our children play has a great tradition. As a coach you want to share that tradition with your athletes. You want your team to play the game in such a way that all of us can be proud of them.

Here's how the parents can help:

1) Let your child know that you want him or her to honor the game. Discuss the meaning of each element of ROOT with your child. This idea may be difficult for younger children to understand so you may have to adapt the idea to the age and understanding of your child.

2) Be a good role model. Honor the game when you attend your child's games. Cheer our team and the opposing team when good plays are made. If, in your opinion, an officiating mistake is made, refrain from yelling at the official. Use this as an opportunity to think about how difficult it is to officiate a game perfectly.

Article contributed by Youth Soccer Coach

http://www.usyouthsoccer.org/parents/resourcelibrary/38340.html


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